Jesus Juice

Well, it seems that the market for holy drinks has finally risen form the ashes.  There is a new drink ou called “Fruit of the Spirit.”

According to the website it is “A one-of-a-kind marvelous wellness anti-oxidant puree with ingredients from God’s creation designed specifically for the Christian market.”

Okay, first things first, ingredients from god’s creation.  Aren’t humans one of god’s creation.  So, is it like soylent green? 

Designed for the christian market?  I didn’t know there was a christian market.  What else do they sell there?  Jesus fish?  Communion wafers?  Pope bobbleheads?  As Brad said this morning, do you need to show your christian card to buy it?  Oh, I’m sorry sir, you’re an atheist, I just can’t sell this to you.

So what exactly is in it?  Again, the website claims that Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.  Wow, that is quite a drink.  I’m not sure where those all grow in nature.  Do they have to grow those in a greenhouse?  Do you only find these on holy grounds?

Who’s the spokesperson?  That is quite a job.  You are not only representing a drink, but an entire way of thinking.  Can’t be the pope or any other church officials.  Can’t be god himself.  Adam, Eve, Judas, Luke, John?  Any other apostle?  Jesus? Can it be a born again, or someone who was just born once?  Actually I have the perfect person:  Now put your hands on the computer screen and say Amen. 

Thats right, the Right Reverend Dr. Billy Sol Hargus, you know, God’s Other Son.  I mean who better to talk about the family business than a family member.  He already knows the media.  It’s perfect.



One Response to “Jesus Juice”

  1. It’s been a loooooong time since I listened to the Right Reverend, but didn’t the Other Son already come up with a Jesus juice pitch?

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