Old Dog, New Tricks!

In an age where older athletes are out performing their younger selves by leaps and needles, I was hoping there would be one last true bastion of sports left.  Well that all came crashing down last night with the point of a finger.

A 10-year-old Sussex Spaniel named Stump

He just looks guilty!

He just looks guilty!

is the newest Westminster Kennel Club Champion.  In an event that has long been dominated by younger, more virile dogs, you are trying to tell me that this geriatric pooch completely out did his self? 

Where are the inquiries?  Where are the Senate hearings?  Where are the hushed speculations of fans and dog owners worldwide?  This is like A 70-year-old man winning Mr. Universe

Ick

Ick

or your Grandma gracing the cover of the SI swimsuit issue.

Not your Grandmother
Not your Grandmother

I want a full blown investigation.  Someone get me George Mitchell on the phone!!!!

Also, who the hell has ever heard of a Sussex spaniel?  He beat out a poodle, Scottish terrier, Scottish deerhound among others.  You know what it is?  It just a continuing saga of the British keeping their Scottish brethren down!!  Damn it, I need Braveheart!!

The story of  “Stumps” (really, that’s the name of the best dog in America?) is that he almost died in 2004 and was saved by vets at Texas A+M.  I think we need to find those doctors and ask them what they did exactly to save this dog from a “medical condition”.  Where are this dogs medical records?   I think we need to get the same reporters that broke the BALCO scandal on this.  There is no way that this could be happening.

I will not stand for a story like this.  An old dog(now the oldest champ) from a rare breed(first ever win for its kind) pulling a rabbit out of its hat(if he had a hat) too win the oldest sporting event in the world.  Who does he think he is pulling off an upset like this?  Beating the nations #1 show dog and a poodle who has had 94 best in show wins.  You expect me to believe that this dog wasn’t taking any performance enhancing drugs? Nothing to make his ears droopier or his coat shinier?  This stuff just doesn’t happen in these days and ages when everyone or thing is under the microscope of suspicion.

This makes me sick.  I don’t know if I can beleive in sports ever again!!!

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2 Responses to “Old Dog, New Tricks!”

  1. Amusing … but I suspect the true intent of this rant was to find an excuse to post the cover of the swimsuit SI. You did so in very clever fashion, but why not ask the same ‘enhancement’ questions of the SI model?

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