pete: observations from the other end of the tube

being the professional that i am, i have dedicated copious amounts of my recovery time at home to the study of the television medium, just to see what it’s like for those of you at home watching us – because frankly i don’t usually watch a lot of TV.  and so, i give you my observations from the past 2 weeks.

  •  no matter what time of day it is, officer john mcclane is foiling someone’s genius plot. he never sleeps. this comforts me.
  • i will never watch the bill engvall show, simply because TBS’s promos for it are the most annoying things i have ever seen.
  • the history channel loops the same shows every 4 hours between 10am and 6pm. i will watch modern marvels both times. it is that good.
  • family guy is available on no fewer than 6 channels, and can be watched uninterrupted from 6pm until midnight most days.
  • i have approximately 200 satellite channels, which means there are approximately 200 different “edited for tv” versions of caddyshack.
  • FUSE is what MTV was
  • ryan hanrahan is the best dressed meteorologist on television.
  • VH1 is where former second and third tier pop culture icons go to die, via top 10/why i love (insert year here) shows. watching this channel makes me sad.
  • i have no idea where “baby daddies” come from, but they are all that is on tv from 2pm-5pm – thus why i watch a second round of modern marvels.
  • junkyard wars is the greatest reality/game show. ever. i wish they were still taping new episodes, i would like to be a contestant.
  • there is an entire network dedicated to golf. i am convinced this is why there is a channel delete button on my remote.
  • the a-team is no where to be found in my program guide. this is a travesty. i will suggest that one of our new digital channels be a dedicated 24-hour a-team channel – except for the episodes with dean stockwell, those were crap.
  • after 2 weeks, an assdivet in a couch from bob’s furniture becomes permanent. i mean this thing is ruined. if i knew i was going to break my foot i would have purcheased a better couch.

i cant wait to go back to work…  watching this idiot box all day long is driving me crazy.


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