A New Year, A New Start

First off, I hope that all of you had an enjoyable holiday season.

OK, now that the formalities are out-of-the-way, let’s get down to it.  I have not written a post since mid-March.  It’s really too bad because maintaining a blog was something that I really enjoyed doing.  I enjoyed connecting with a variety of people and I loved that I was able to give readers a glimpse into my world.  I wish I could sit here and explain to you why I stopped.  I don’t think there was one  specific reason but more of a bunch of little things that tended to take up my time.  Maybe it was a little bit of laziness.  Maybe it was a little bit of disinterest.  Maybe a lack of passion.  Whatever it was I felt like it seeped into my life as well.

This past year wasn’t great.  It wasn’t horrible just one that I’d like to move on from.  We lost a grandfather, a grandmother  and a father this year from our extended family.  Losing loved ones is always difficult.  Losing three in a year can wear on people.  Those weren’t the only reason 2013 was less than ideal.  Professionally it wasn’t great.  Now, I still have a job so nothing is that bad, but it just felt like I didn’t get enough satisfaction out of my job that I have in the past.  I still love what I do but for some reason this year just didn’t seem enjoyable.  Maybe it was burnout.  I had a tough time trying to get that work/life balance thing going.  There were times that while I was at work all I could think about was stuff at home and vice versa.  That’s not fair to my family at work or my family at home.  unfortunately it became just a job, and that’s the last thing I wanted to happen.

For some reason, I felt less passionate about things in my life.  I know for a fact that my passion for baseball became misplaced and I do know why.  After three years of coaching three sports at the high school level, this past spring I was done.  Basketball took so much from me.  We had a lousy season.  The varsity won 5 games and my jv team won 0.  0 games.  That tends to make a long season even longer.  I felt like I lost the passion to coach.  That most definitely carried over into the spring and the baseball season.  I’ll be honest with you, I felt I sleep-walked through the season.  Felt like I just went through the motions and I hated it.  Not only do the kids deserve better but I also demand myself to be better.  That’s why one big change has me not coaching basketball this season and I really can’t wait for the baseball season to start.  (BTW, six weeks till pitchers and catchers report for the BoSox and ten weeks till we start our season).  I felt like that lack of passion seeped into other parts of my life.  I felt less excited about football season this year.  It didn’t help that Michigan, UCONN and the NY Giants all had less than stellar seasons.  To me, the games became more like work than enjoyment.  They tended to feel more like “have-to” events then “want-to” events.  That never was the case before.

I think that can all go back to my original point: a lack of passion for the things I love.

It wasn’t all bad though.  I was able to earn and coach my 1st year as a varsity high school coach.  A longtime goal of mine.  Now, it wasn’t in the sport I thought it would be (baseball) but in the unlikely sport of girls soccer.  My passion for coaching came back during this time.  I felt like I fell in love with it all over again and it came from girls soccer!  While not the season I had promised to the girls or had wanted for myself, it was so very rewarding.  We finished with the best record in 10 years.  We had a girl set the single game scoring record.  We had our goalie make 2nd team all conference and I felt that we built a foundation of success that I hope continues into the future.  Even writing this now, I am getting excited about the possibilities come this fall.  The other event that helped me rediscover that passion, the Red Sox run to an improbable World Series win.  I rediscovered my love for the game and for that team.  That Sox team was so much fun to watch play the game.  They played it like kids and not like spoiled millionaires.  You had guys on that team that ate up baseball everyday.  Guys would go to games on their off day.  It just showed to me what you can get out of something if you put 100% of yourself into it.

I know going forward I need to stop worrying about so many little things.  I feel I let the minutia of everyday life put a damper on all the things about life.  I didn’t like that about me.  I didn’t like the way I was around my family.  I felt like I let that attitude get in the way of friendships.  Overall, I just felt that 2013 wasn’t the best year of myself.  I am willing to try to fix these things this year.  Try to rediscover my passion for my job, my family and other outside ventures.  try to let little things slide and enjoy my time off more.  Try to reconnect with longtime friends before they become one-time friends.  Call these what you will.  I’m not saying they are resolutions but just things in my life that I’m not happy with.  I think I need to get back to being what makes me, me.

That includes more blogging so better get used to it :)!!

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2 Responses to “A New Year, A New Start”

  1. Hey Jay – glad to see you are blogging again! Your address is in my blog reader, and I did a double take when I saw the update ha!

  2. Reflection is good.

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